digital community

I finally got a twitter account, after holding out for so long. My hesitancy is brought upon by this naive sentiment about living a simpler life... unpolluted by the sociopolitical environment of our poisoned American pop culture. It's important to note that I used the word naive to describe this thought, and possibly the word idealistic should be added as a descriptive commentary as well. I was reading my horoscope the other day, or rather I was at the laundromat and a neighbor was checking it for me on her blackberry. It said that the "Aquarius" (which is myself) is a very idealistic personality and that they will fight to the bitter end for their principles. Sometimes this can be a very good thing, and other times it has really bitten me in the ass. As I strive to grow up a bit and mature in my relationships with others I've learned that having an openness for new concepts and the eagerness to learn more about other's ideals has served me better than defending my own. Well that was a fun little overly-descriptive rabbit trail... back to the topic at hand.

My generation (born in 1979) is one that kind of falls in between on the digital community. I don't feel as hip as some of these younger twenty-somethings, aka some of my friends in the theatre community. They have thousands of friends on their facebook account. I have less than fifty. They are so much more connected in the digital community than I am and I must confess a little bit of jealousy, because in a way it makes me feel like I'm slightly less popular and don't have as many friends. Most of my friends would either keep in touch with me through a phone call or visiting from time to time. I don't really have my friends from high school on my facebook account. What I'm getting at is everyone today seems to be at a different level of connectivity when it comes to the digital community that's out their. I don't know if you've ever visited a yahoo or aol chat room where you don't know anyone. It's really an experience if you haven't done it recently. There are all these crazy bots that are trying to digitally molest you and then the few real people that are actually there seem to be just as desperate for some type of strange connection. I ask myself, do these people have friends... like real friends, and then I catch myself being a little too judgemental and back off.

So friends and community are really important. I recently had some major life changes in terms of community. About a year and a half ago I lived in suburban America in a small town in Michigan. I worked a semi-normal job and had a lot of friends. I went to church every week and was connected in the "real" world with a lot of people that I thought were my good friends. Then it happened. Life kind of melted down for me. Then all the people I thought were friends came out of the woodwork to tell me how I should fix my life. I ended up losing almost everyone that I thought was a friend because I was having to reinvent life. Shortly thereafter some changes happened at my job and I found myself jobless and homeless. I felt like life was "less." I had a lot smaller circle when it came to community and friends. This was the period in which I deleted my facebook temporarily. So I had to start over.

Have you ever had to start over? It's a really hard as hell thing to do. I moved to a new city, Chicago. I got a new job. I got a new place to live. And now I'm trying to build the next thing. It's the thing that's been missing from my life. A new community. I have recognized that in the middle of figuring everything out, there is a great absence of friends. So I'm trying to make new relationships at work and looking for a new church. But I know that a lot of my feelings and thoughts have changed dramatically and I'm no longer willing to swallow the conservative pill of religion and politics. My feelings are completely different. I've figured out that I want to do something big and important with my life and I want to affect people in a really positive way. There's a little quote that I'm trying to keep in mind lately. "People won't remember as much about what you say to them or what you did with them as much as they will remember how you make them feel." I want to make people feel amazing when they are around me. (Not in the $1000 per hour escort sort of way) I want to make as many friends and connections as I can and change peoples life for the better. So that at the end of it all I can look back and know, I have more facebook friends than you. Because isn't that really what it's all about.

Would love to hear your thoughts and feedback.